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Thursday, 20 July 2017

Poem: Gap between the breaths


whoever will get to taste my bones
and discover my highway full of secrets
there is an everlasting light which haunts me
in dreams I disappear completely to a place
where starlight kisses the sky
it ignites my skin for it knows my voice
stories wrapped in melody
in the gap between the breaths
songs are like bells calling us home
we ask ourselves hard questions
looking for answers our whole lives
in this wretched sea of denial
passion leads words to freedom
I am the ocean, a river of thoughts
flowing through the flesh
there are rooms with different versions
of our selves, various landscapes
through which we fought on our adventures
memories are like creatures
sneaking up on you in the middle of a sentence
the ones you feed, will gladly come back for more
and change their shape to fit in
others, they fade to black
sitting in silence until forgotten
unless they scheme to fill the melody
in the gap between the breaths
*

Poem: Oblivion

wind forgot how to roam
dust soundlessly covers up the valley
where we dig to discover our secrets
we've been hiding for ages
obsessed with putting cages
on things we can't control
hiding them somewhere safe
or so they keep on telling us
but do we ever see
we're the ones being caged too
so profoundly, keeping our selves busy
in our important lives
hungry for food and entertainment
seemingly never having enough
denying the meaning of the word
blinded by the glitter
breathing the constant high
abused as long as we have something to sell
running the machine we can't stop
living in our hypnosis, deciding
what is real and what is not
what is right and what is not
time passes, yet we don't look up
to face the monster
world doesn't care for your dreams,
hopes and sorrows, only for the symmetry
between your bones and how young
your skin appears to be
in this oblivion we fall
into the realm of the forgotten
our lives but a deck of cards
caught in a spiders' web
life drips from us,
like an i.v. infusion
. . .

*
Once I thought it would be possible to publish a poetry collection every three years. It's been three years since my last one. This is the third poem I've written this year. So you see where this is going. Maybe sometime in the future, but there's no deadline. Someday.

Monday, 27 March 2017

Poem: Roots

Photos borrowed from StockSnap and Unsplash

mountains float like clouds in the distance
their existence seems timeless like the sky
the shadows that play on us,
trying to show us the light
captured we are in this vast sea of possibilities
caged we are in this modern society, losing value
trying to fit into a shape that is not us
calling out to others,
but forgetting our names
the corridors that we walk through
waves either heal or cut us,
water drips through
drips even through stone,
river is running dry
are we untouched by what life is?
the cold sweeps into our blood
as our roots keep on burning,
but we don't seem to see
the smoke that is rising
our souls tired, tired of walking in these shoes
who can still hear a howl?
people talk endlessly, but seldom listen
in love with their own words and voices
blind we become, as if these tears turn into ice
in the winter of our lives we'll lose everything we once knew
maybe even lose our minds, in which a ghost would
haunt those few memories that we cling to
a wolf searching for a path of old
*

Saturday, 14 January 2017

Poem: Fever dreams


As the blackness of ink soaks through the snow white pages
so does the breathing get harder and the heartbeat races
as you fight your ghosts in the shadow tunnels
making sense of your fever dreams
revelation always follows after the moment
you want to surrender and stare into the abyss
it takes years for us to develop strong spines
first we develop fragile cells and flesh, bones we create much later
we lose our shape living in the modern world
we've forgotten and destroyed most of ancient wisdom
there are many hard battles we fight
inside of ourselves and by ourselves
for we've never learned trust
and helping others is under-rated
we weren't born to this earth to walk it alone
sometimes it seems we talk endlessly, but fail to say a thing
we rather keep it locked up,
either we find the right path or we get lost,
hearts have the knowledge of healing,
but the mind remembers and lingers to details
since it is the fiercest critique
can you still distinguish real from fake?
can you still tell who is the writer of your life?
is time taking our dreams away?
*

Saturday, 31 December 2016

Poem: Lifetime Warriors

Unsplash
We're multilayered. Like a colourful woolen sweatshirt.
Not everyone can see, how many layers we carry -
for we hide behind them like a shield.
Since we know the world can be a lone, hard and cold place -
we hide for fear of being seen. We fear that people will get to know us
and abuse us for their own purpose. Most of all - we fear being hurt.
We express ourselves through words and deeds;
Still there is much being unsaid, which only flickers
somewhere in the distance - inside our eyes.
We find comfort looking at the night sky,
because answers wait there for us.
There is a lot of difference between every hello & goodbye.
The one that comes last, always hits the hardest.
Regrets of things undone sweep in - they can fill a book.
Here and there life reminds us of the true purpose.
We're still discovering ourselves, the multitudes that surround us;
Searching for meaning of our lives, between the work that we do
and the bills we have to pay, and the things we wish we were doing
or wish we'd had. All the things we're so afraid to do and to be -
afraid to love,
afraid to be fragile,
afraid to show our skins,
afraid to shed our masks,
seems so minor and foolish when you stare into the abyss.
We shouldn't love for a reason, when the reason disappears, so does the love.
We're chasing each other through the plains of stardust
time does not exist there.
Deep inside we know who we are and where we come from -
we make arrangements of the parts and lessons we will give each other.
Not really knowing how it will feel, the path we will endure.
When our hearts collide together it feels like jumping into the fountain of peace.
There is something so familiar when skin touches another skin.
We're warriors, and we roam these endless fields,
writing our stories. Each and every one unique. In it,
we're never alone. Touching and crashing into each other.
Lifetime, seems a fleeting moment. No one can really die,
             if they stay in our hearts.
*

Wednesday, 28 December 2016

Blog: Keep calm and run on

Ollie, so easy to love
2016 -  A year that Chernobyl generation turned thirty. When you're a teenager, it seems such a long way ahead, and how old you will feel, but once you get there, you don't know what all that fuss is about. Few days ago I saw a quote on Facebook, that goes something like this "When you take up running you say 'I run'. After a while you say 'I'm a runner'". It feels like I reached that part. Beginnings are hard, but our bodies are well adapted to running or to say it better "we are born to run". 
This year I ran about 790 km, biked 130 km and hiked 160 km. I participated 2 organized runs of 10 km. I got 3 minor injuries, but one of them was caused by a dog, so it's not all because of my clumsiness. Besides, if the owner would have pulled the leash, it wouldn't have happened. The one injury that worries me the most is patellar tendonitis, since it can take up a lot of time before it gets healed. Here's a link, if anyone else is having trouble with it. And of course it's on the knee that was already operated. I wasn't thinking about it before, but when I look back, that arthroscopy might have been a quick fix, but it may not have been the best option.
Many people still comment, that running might not be good for me, since I have knee problems, but they seem not to know, that running on unpaved roads and forest's path can heal the knees. Since regular exercise actually stimulates repairing of the knee cartilage, for example. I feel the knees start to ache if I take a few weeks off, not that I do, but some injuries demand rest. Knees are such a fascinating joint. Did you know that "The load distributed over the kneecap can be up to 5 times the body weight, particularly on going down stairs."? Mind and body function much better with regular doses of running ;)
Otherwise, this year was very interesting, taught me a lot. I participated in a sport massage course, got myself a massage table, got a new job (the pay is better, but it seems impossible to find a well-organized joy in healthcare system), moved, took up gardening and building. Started a big project and have a few more ideas up my sleeves :) But about time, Enya says it best.

For the end I'll share another video - Ode to joy; for some reason it has a deep impact on me, and I bite my lips not to cry every time I hear it.
A new year, a new day, holds a lot of possibilities, and it's up to us to see them and make them a reality. I wish things to move forward and start changing... and I'm wishing you a happy new year ;)